Worried About Your Bereaved Mom or Dad?
Are you worried about your bereaved mom or dad? Has he or she lost a spouse (Your parent or step-parent) or another beloved family member, and just can’t seem to “get over it”.
Perhaps you feel like you just don’t know how to help your mom or dad through his or her grief. Do you feel like you always say the wrong things? Do you feel that your mother or father is kind of stuck in the same place he or she was maybe a year or two ago, and isn’t making progress in the grief journey, in your opinion anyway?
Do you perhaps argue because he or she feels you don’t call often enough, or aren’t spending enough time meeting his or her needs?
Are you baffled because your mom or dad is still young enough to find activities and people to help make life worthwhile, but just doesn’t seem to want to, or wants to, but doesn’t know how to go about it?
Your mother or father took care of you when you were little, and now it’s your turn, but you are at a loss about what you can do. Your mom or dad may have even expressed a willingness to find some kind of help, but is afraid of not being able to afford it, or about having to travel to get that assistance. Maybe she has already had some kind of counseling, or grief group, but still can’t seem to figure out how to find interests or motivation, and seems so lost or unhappy.
Maybe your dad trolls the Internet hoping to meet somebody, but you fear his grief is interfering with his lack of judgment. Maybe your mom is on some Facebook grief groups that just post memes about how sad members are, and how much they miss their spouse, but don’t seem to help anyone who is really ready to move beyond that kind of grief.
Are you an adult child, possibly someone with a demanding career, with kids of your own to guide and worry about? Do you live far away and feel bad that you can’t be more involved in helping them adjust to being a widow or widower, or in dealing with the loss of anther loved one?
Coaching for You
I can offer an individualized coaching program to you, the son or daughter who is in the Sandwich Generation. There are some issues and dilemmas quite unique to this stage of life. I can help you figure out how to better care for yourself, do away with the guilt, live your life, and learn to listen to, and communicate with your parent in a more effective, and less stressful way for both of you.
Coaching For Mom or Dad
You can also gift your mother or father with my services. I can support them through the grief journey. I can help them identify resources for themselves. I can aid them in finding their new normal, and in figuring out and building a new identity and life for themselves that feels good, in spite of having lost a loved one.
You can’t force a parent who isn’t ready for help to accept your offer. You can make the suggestion, and you and your parent, together, or separately, can have an initial free conversation with me to talk about how my coaching can make a difference for them (and for you).
If your mom or dad is indeed ready to move ahead and make changes, he or she is an ideal candidate for getting maximum benefit from coaching.
If he or she is at all computer-savvy, we can really work together with ease. I can provide weekly phone coaching sessions and very personalized email support in-between sessions. If not, we can still work solely by phone. I can pretty much work with anyone who lives anywhere.
I will design a program for you, or your parent, that is workable for your needs, and for theirs. The typical coaching program lasts from three to six months, giving us time to build a relationship, to clarify goals, to plan things, and to implement the plans. It requires that the coachee be ready to change, and to do the work involved. I won’t do the work for them. I will guide, support, cheer on, motivate. I will come up with tools and techniques, encourage them to devise some strategies, and help them put it all together in the caring and compassionate way for which I am widely known.
The coachee (You or your parent) and I will choose to meet weekly by phone. They will be able to contact me with “breakthrough issues or problems” for a little extra support if you have arranged that when you engaged me for coaching. If you are the one purchasing the program for your mom or dad, our structure is likely to include in the cost, at least one get-acquainted beginning session, during which I help you both understand how the coaching will work. Coaching is not the same as therapy or mentoring, though there can, at times, be some mentoring provided. Even if you are paying for the sessions, I will never violate the confidentiality of my coaching client unless he or she gives me permission to discuss our sessions, or tells you about them on his or her own. I will not be “fixing” your parent or changing behavior or beliefs to make them more acceptable to you. That is not what it’s all about. I will be concerned with the client’s needs and the client’s agenda, which we will all clarify together at the start.
About mid-way into our coaching engagement, we will take some time to assess how we are doing. You may or may not be included in this assessment. That can be discussed when we set things up.
Finally, at the end, we can schedule a wrap up session to ensure that the client feels complete, that no more coaching is required or desired by the client and sponsor.
Let’s schedule a free consultation to further discuss how this will work, and what your needs and/or your parent’s needs are. Let’s see if we are a good fit. That’s important. If not, I may be able to make some other suggestions for you. If you are concerned about cost, I will try my best to try to work out a program you can accommodate cost-wise.
Contact me: email@example.com or request a free consult using the form on this site. Or call me and leave me a message about your needs. 860-242-5941.
Exploring New Relationships: Widowed & Divorced